Get low Naruto!
by Meinos Kaen
Summary: A.W.C.B.G.L.T., as in Annual Wave Country Beach Games and Limbo Tournament. It’s the closest thing the ninja villages have to a vacation. And the leaf is going to be there, of course! Expect madness and Anko in a GString! [RXR]
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… Otherwise I would make this fic a Manga!

Well… This idea came up to me while on a forum… The title was 'Fic for adoption'. lol So, here's the new member of the family!

Story: One question, though…

What?

Story: Who's my mom?

Uhm… My hands, I suppose…

Story: …

…

Story: …

… I know. That sounded reeeeeeeeeeeeeally wrong. Well, enjoy!

P.S.: Thank Alpha T Sigma for seeing this story here so early//// She can be veeeery persuasive...

**Get low Naruto!**

**Chapter1: Departure, arrival and first day  
**

"AWCDLWTF?!"

This was the first reaction of Naruto after hearing the initials of whatever Tsunade was proposing to the group that had gathered together in her office. And on so short notice, too.

"Sigh… A.W.C.B.G.L.T., as in Annual Wave Country Beach Games and Limbo Tournament. It's the closest thing the ninja villages have to a vacation." Replied the Hokage. This time she didn't yell at Naruto, because everyone in the room had a confused look on their faces. "It's at the same time a vacation and a competition. It's an agreement we came to recently. You see, after Team7 famous mission in the wave country, said country began to rebuilt their economical well-being. And this led an increment of tourism. So much… That the villages have decided to rent for a whole month the bigger and most beautiful of the minor islands of that country."

Explained that, all became clearer. Many mixed reactions. Who was excited, who bored, who blushed thinking about swimming suits… But one curious reaction was Naruto's one. The blonde was worried. Really worried. He was sweating.

"Well, of course there are a few rules. Number one: you're not allowed to wear your forehead protectors. That because fights will not be permitted. It's a vacation, and as such, no fights. Just games where you can humiliate other opponents. Understood?" The whole group nodded, minus Naruto. He swallowed. "Number two… Enjoy yourselves! Have fun! Any questions?" Surprisingly, Naruto immediately raised his hand. "Yes, Naruto?"

"T-Tsunade-sama…"

"IMPOSTOR! WHERE IS THE REAL NARUTO?!" This was screamed by everyone in the room. Naruto sweatdropped.

"B-Baa-chan… Are there any… Restrictions on the swimming suits?" This was a strange question, coming from Naruto.

"No. You can wear anything you like…" She said. Naruto sighed in relief. "Anymore questions? Good. The appointment is tomorrow morning, at 8 o clock. Dismissed." Every one left the room. Everyone had to pack up. And Naruto was meditating about the Henge plan to get in a shop and buy some board-shorts.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**The following morning…**

"You're all here? Good thing."

Every ninja was now in casual, and everyone had, as promised, left their forehead protectors at home. Neji, to hide his caged bird seal, opted for a white headband.

"Good. Now, as a surprise… We will not be travelling by feet." Said Tsunade. Shikamaru inarched an eyebrow.

"Hokage-sama, not that the thing bothers me… But we would go faster by ourselves, right?"

"Yes, but as I explained, Shikamaru, during this vacation we will act as normal civilians. So, we will ride by bus." After saying this, said Bus arrived. A big, red bus. And a voice echoed in the air from it.

"_**GOOD MORNING, YOUTHFUL TEENS! JOIN THE RIDE ON THIS YOUTHFUL BUS! I, GAI MAITO, WILL TAKE YOU TO DESTINATION WITH ALL THE POWER AND KNOWLEDGE LENT TO ME BY YOUTHFULNESS!"**_

"Yosh! Go, Gai-sensei!" Guess who…

In the meanwhile, the other Jounins, as in Shizune, Anko, Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai, approached the Hokage.

"You let HIM drive the bus?!" They whispered collectively.

"He was the only one with a driving licence…" The jounins sweatdropped. "And after all, what's the most annoying thing that can happen? Annoying us with the mic? We'll just cut the cable…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a legend, in Konoha. The legend is that every Hokage makes one big mistake in his/her life. For example, the third made a mistake while judging Orochimaru. The fourth made a mistake when he believed that the village would have seen Naruto as a hero. Tsunade made a mistake when she had nominated Gai as the driver. The idiot had gone off the normal road. The bus made so many bumps, jumps and strange movements that everyone on the bus was now green. Gai and Lee included. And that led to the thinking that they were somewhat masochist.

"Gai…" Tsunade, with the will of fire, managed to approach the driver. "Get… This thing… Back… On the normal road."

"But… Tsunade-sama… This is… A fantastic opportunity… To train… Our youthful stomachs…" He replied. And suddenly, an enormous killer intent spread trough the bus.

"TOO BAD THAT YOUR UNYOUTHFUL DRIVING IS UPSETTING OUR YOUTHFUL STOMACHS SO MUCH THAT WE'RE ABOUT TO PUKE OUR YOUTHFUL BREAKFASTS! TAKE THIS YOUTHFUL BUS ON THE NORMAL ROAD YOUTHFULLY RIGHT NOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO UNYOUTHFULLY RIP OFF YOUR ALREADY UNYOUTHFUL MANHOOD!"

Gai pulled the brake. Hard. Every man in the bus cringed at the mental images. On Kiba, it had the effect of making him finally losing his breakfast. The only male unaffected was Sai, who turned along with the other women in the bus towards the source of the sudden outburst.

"… Hinata?"

"…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Hinata's outburst, Gai was persuaded to go back on the normal road. But of course, it still had to be done Maito-style. So, he did the entire trip in reverse. How did he manage to not destroy everything at his passage was a mystery.

"Ah, here. We are. Look, guys! This is my bridge!"

Indeed it was. The name was 'The great Naruto bridge'. Kiba cursed and paid Shino 20 bucks. He had bet that Naruto was lying. After passing on the bridge, they took the way towards the docks.

"Ok! Here are the docks! Gai, you can stop!" Said Tsunade. Too bad that Gai was too occupied with singing.

"WE ARE, WE ARE! THE YOUTH OF THE NAAAATIOOOON…"

"… Gai, stop." They had entered one of the docks.

"WE ARE, WE ARE! THE YOUTH OF THE NAAAAATIOOON…"

"… Gai…" The dock was ending.

"WE ARE THE YOUTH OF THE NATIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!/GAI-SENSEEEEEEEEEEI/THICK-BROWS SENSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEI!" This was shouted by every living being in the bus. Gai pulled the brake just in time. A good quarter of the bus was out of the dock.

"YOU PSYCHO! IF I EVER FIND THE IDIOT WHO GAVE YOU THE DRIVING LICENCE?! I'LL BEAT HIM TO A BLOODY PULP!" This was Kakashi. Come on, he can snap too.

"Ahahah! Don't worry, my rival!" Gai opened the driver's door. "As you can see, everything went just FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

_**SPLASH!**_

"… Who votes for leaving him there for a while?" Asked the Hokage. A lot of people raised their hands, apart those who didn't give a damn and Lee, of course.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the difficult task of retrieving the luggage with the bus still parked in that position, the group from Konoha boarded the ship that would take them to the island.

"Ok, guys. A bit of info. The island where we're about to land is named Kokolint." Began to read Kakashi out loud.

_I've heard it somewhere…_ Thought Kiba. But he shrugged it off and kept on playing with his old Game Boy.

"It's a real beach resort. We will stay in an hotel, and there are pools and various attractions, beach apart. At the same time, there's a beautiful wild side to explore. Don't go around ruining anything, ok?" Everyone nodded, minus Kiba, who cursed because he didn't understand what the damn owl meant. "Now, remember especially that fights are not allowed. The usage of jutsus will be permitted just during certain events. So, don't attack anyone. I say this because there will be people from the sound as well."

Hearing this, certain people immediately tensed. Particularly, Naruto and Sakura.

_Sasuke-kun will be there…_

_Sasuke…_

"Now, turn around and witness the beauty of Kokolint island during the sunset." When Kakashi said this, everyone turned around. Man, was he right. The island really was beautiful. A great mix between technology and nature. But…

"Kakashi-sensei, why is the top of the mountain shaped as an egg?" Asked Naruto.

"Oh, it's because there's another island with the same name as this… Well, it is said to be. And it is said that on that island there was the egg of a mythical creature."

"An incredible bad taste…" Commented Ino, shaking her head.

"DAMN IT! WHERE IS THAT FAKING BOW?!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Welcome to Hotel Marin. Just a minute and we'll retrieve the keys for your rooms." The hotel could be described with one word: luxury. Every shinobi took his/her time to take in the surroundings while listening to the relaxing exotic music playing in the background.

"WOOOW! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE ROOMS!" Exclaimed Ino. She voiced the thoughts of a good part of the group.

"Ok, guys. You will occupy the rooms in groups of people…"

"Asuma, put out the cigarette." Kurenai smacked the back of the Jounin's head.

"Right, sorry…" He continued, rubbing the back of his head. "As I was saying, you will be staying in groups. Here's the list."

Asuma unrolled a long scroll. The shinobis began to read.

_**Room 69**_

_Tsunade, Shizune, Anko, Kurenai_

_**Room 71**_

_Gai, Kakashi, Asuma, Yamato_

_**Room 123**_

_Naruto, Neji, Lee, Sai_

_**Room 158**_

_Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Shino_

_**Room 180**_

_TenTen, Ino, Sakura, Hinata_

"…" Naruto approached Neji. "Night eyebrows raid?" He whispered.

"Night eyebrows raid." Neji whispered back.

"Kakashi-sensei, is Yamato-taichou going to come as well?" Asked Sakura.

"In two days. He had to retrieve some guests along the road." Replied Kakashi, while reading his book. He, of course, giggled. Incredible thing, even if wearing civilian clothes, he was still wearing his black piece of clothing that covered the low part of his face.

"Hmph. Look what we have here. A bunch of losers."

"!"

Everyone turned around. And there they were… Orochimaru, Sasuke and Kabuto. The first one wearing his usual clothes. Sasuke was wearing a white t-shirt, a blue pair of shorts and sandals. Kabuto… An hawaian shirt, a white pair of shorts and non-ninja sandals. And he was drinking what looked like a tequila. With the worm.

"And we'll have to stay near them for a whole month? Sigh… I hope to not get infected." Said Sasuke.

"Bastard! How dare you…" Choji was about to jump at his throat, but Sasuke raised a hand.

"Ah-Ah. Sorry, but remember… Fights are not allowed here, fatty."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Lee and Shikamaru stopped Choji just in time. A lot of people were glaring at Sasuke. Sakura… Was observing him with a disheartened face.

"Eheheh… So, even if I taunt you, you can't do anything about it…" Said that, Sasuke took the key for his room and was about to walk away. But Kakashi had something else. Time for a little payback, Sasuke.

"Guys… I forgot to tell you. Fight are not allowed as in 'ninja fights'. Fights that comprehend jutsus." All the leaf males turned towards the Cyclops and Sasuke stopped his walking. "Fights as in 'beating him to a bloody pulp' are allowed. Just don't use chakra."

"…"

Sasuke swallowed. He suddenly felt something like impeding doom. And then he heard eight knuckles being cracked at the same time.

"CHARGE!!!" The background music changed to the William Tell overture while the leaf nins assaulted Sasuke. All this under the gazes of Orochimaru and Kabuto.

"Should we help him, Orochimaru-sama?" Said Kabuto, taking another sip of his worm tequila immediately after.

"As much as we should… I found this extremely entertaining." Commented Orochimaru.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow. Four beds and we still have space." This was the first comment made by Sakura after pulling up her covers. The room was really spacious, and as luxurious as the atrium.

"Yeah… And I can't wait for tomorrow morning for showing my swimming suits around!" Said Ino.

"Eh. And I bet that Kiba can't wait as well. Because he wasn't to see a bit more of Hinata's D-cup." Said TenTen. While Ino and Sakura giggled, the shy Hyuuga heiress blushed and raised a bit more her covers over his face. "By the way… Sasuke is here."

"I couldn't care less. That bastard lost every opportunity he had with me the moment he defected Konoha and made Choji almost lose his life because he wanted to bring him back. He can burn in hell for all I care." Said Ino, stoic. Sakura lowered her gaze. "But it's not Sakura's case. She was… And still is in love with Sasuke."

"… Is that true, Sakura?" Asked TenTen.

"… I don't know… Probably." She replied. The other two girls just sighed and let their heads fall on the cushions.

"Love isn't something that you can command…" Commented Tenten.

"Yep. Otherwise Naruto would have left Sakura alone a loooooooooooooong time ago, after all those punches and beatings he got from forehead girl…"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"WANNA FIGHT!"

"YEAH! PILLOW FIGHT!" Said Hinata. Yes. Hinata. And before any of the other girls could ask her anything she jumped towards Sakura and pillow-smashed Sakura.

**Inner Hinata: TAKE THAT, BITCH! THIS IS FOR NARUTO!**

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't believe my own eyes…"

"Neither I. And I'm a Hyuuga, man."

"Curious."

Naruto and Neji were holding two pairs of tweezers… Completely destroyed. It seems that while Lee was just human, his eyebrows were somewhat Kryptonian, it seemed.

"Uhm… BAH! Let's get some sleep! We'll try again tomorrow. With scissors, this time." Said Naruto, somersaulting his bed.

"By the way, Naruto…" Began Sai. Naruto turned towards him. "I'm curious. Why did you ask Tsunade-sama that question about swimming suits?"

"…" At this, Naruto immediately tensed up, and swallowed. He turned towards Neji and Sai. Neji was curious too. "Let's say that… For certain motives… I can wear just broad-shorts."

"… Why?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"! NEJI! DON'T TELL ME YOU USED THE BYAKUGAN!"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"STOP YELLING! AND DON'T TELL THIS TO ANYONE!"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"STOP YELLING!"

"OH MY FUCKING CO… EHM, GOD!"

"?" Sai was clueless to what was happening. Neji had his eyes almost completely bulged out, and Naruto was as read as a tomato. But after all, it was something that he already knew. He and Naruto had taken a bath in the same hot spring, after all.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"NEEEJI!"

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

"YEAH! MY YOUTHFUL FUCKING GOD!"

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID! NOW HE'S SLEEP-TALKING!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The following morning… Beach time! The Jounins and the Hokage accompanied their students to the beach for that morning, to teach them the road. The beach was enormous. Golden sand. Transparent water. Lots of people, music…

**_Soundtrack: La paranza-Daniele Silvestri (Download it! It's really fitting, for a beach scene!)_**

"Woooow! Finally!" Exclaimed Kiba. "Come on, Akamaru! I race you to the water!"

"Woff!" The two were away, entering the water with a loud splash.

"Before you go and have fun, I want to remind you today's events and contests. Well, today there is just one contest. The Volleyball Bunshin Match." Exclaimed Kurenai.

_Bunshin? Oh-oh… This could be interesting…_ Thought Naruto. If it involved bunshins, he was THE MAN.

"It will be a small tournament of Volleyball, with slightly different rules. You can enter the game by talking with that man near the DJ, there." Saying that, Naruto turned in the direction… Man, was he strange. He was wearing an hawaian shirts, no sandals, a pair of brown, ripped shorts… And he had an enormous beard and an enormous amount of long, dirty hair. Both of a dark blonde. "The name's… Mah. I don't know."

"Hey, Kiba brought some videogames too, right?" Asked Choji.

"Yeah… Troublesome but thoughtful of him. He brought Metal Slug X as well." Answered Shikamaru.

"Ok, guys. Dismissed. Report… At the end of the month! Have fun!" Said that, Tsunade was away along with the other females to the changing rooms.

"Good! My youthful rival, how about a race?! Me, you, and the sea!" Said Gai.

"Maybe later, Gai. I just had breakfast, you know… It would be bad for my health." _And on top of that, I'm here to relax. Hell will freeze before I let this vacation let ruined by you…_

"Sakura-chan, want to accompany me? I want to ask about this Bunshin volleyball thi… Uh?" The girls were around no more.

"Sorry, Naruto. The girls are already gone. Neji and the others went to search a good spot where to stay. I'll accompany you, if you want." Commented Sai. Naruto sweatdropped.

"Ok… Come with me."

Naruto and Sai approached the man. He was muttering something under his breath.

"Rocket launcher… He-Heavy machine gun…"

"Ehm, excuse me…"

"YES?!" Naruto sweatdropped some more. What a weirdo…

"I wanted to know… About the Volleyball Bunshin…" He asked. The man nodded.

"Of course, of course. The rules are really simple. You see, you play as in a normal volleyball match. However, the point is not to make points, here, but to destroy your opponent's Bunshins using the ball. You can use up to five bunshins, and you must play with them."

"Uhmmmm… Okay! Sign me in! Uzumaki Naruto!"

"SIGN UP BY YOURSELF! THERE'S THE PAPER! HERE'S THE PEN! Just write your name… MISSION 1! COMPLETE!" He shouted. Naruto sweatdropped one more time, this time aided by Sai.

"Uhm… Ok. Here?" Naruto grabbed the pen and wrote his name on the paper. "Good. The match is at 11 o clock, right? I'll be there!"

Said that, Naruto and Sai went away. Prisoner went back to his muttering… For a few seconds. He noticed that another person had approached the paper. A girl, this time. But he went back to his muttering. This one already knew how to play, it seemed.

"Hmph… And who's this Uzumaki Naruto? Probably some ugly loser…" She wrote her name on the paper. "Ah! As if anyone could beat Mitsuwa Kyoko! Ohohoh!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you done, Anko?" Asked Kurenai from the outside of the changing room. The Jounin Kunoichis were changing. Kurenai had opted for a red bikini, Shizune for a one-piece blue swimming suit, Tsunade opted for a green bikini with special reinforcements ( to sustain the excessive weight ). Now only Anko was left.

"One moment… Done. MORTALS, ADMIRE ME!" Anko opened the door of the changing room.

"! A-ANKO-SAN! THAT IS TOO MUCH!" Too much indeed. For the males, it seemed. The moment Anko opened the door, three in the radius of sight-seeing of the changing room fainted due to a heavy blood-loss. Anko had opened the door with her back facing it, showing to the world her black G-String.

"Not at all, Shizune. It's you that is too less!" Anko pointed to Shizune, and the blushing girl looked around. Tsunade and Kurenai were nodding, agreeing with Anko. "I mean, you have a great body! You should at least TRY to show it! Good thing I brought a bikini as well!"

"EH?! WAIT!" Anko began to pull her towards the changing room. And suddenly… Kurenai and Tsunade began to push her inside. "NOT YOU TOO! TSUNADE-SAMA! KURENAI-SAN!" Pushed inside. Door closed. "WHAT HELL IS THIS?! A SILVER-COLOURED FUDONSHI?! NO! AH, DON'T TOUCH THERE! NO! AAAAH! IT TICKLES! CRAZY! THIS IS PLAIN CRAZY! NO! THAT'S A SENSITIVE SPOT! NO! AAAAAAAAAAH!"

And all the males in a hearing range blushed, imagining the scene in the changing room. And all those who had a girlfriend got bashed, of course.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eleven o clock. Time for the bunshin volleyball match. A good amount of crowd had gathered around the web. From Konoha there were Sakura, Neji and Shikamaru. Then Kabuto, always with his tequila… And already tanned?! Then, a lot of people that they didn't know. Judging from how white their skin was, they were probably all from the mist.

"Uhm…" Naruto was reading the paper with the name of the contestants. There was just his one and the one of a certain Mitsuwa Kyoko. "What a name. It can be read as 'Beautiful lethal weapon'… But how come there aren't any other contestants?"

"Because Bunshin specialists are very few, Naruto."

"Oh? Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto turned around to found his favourite teacher with his book, his mask, and his left eye covered by his hair.

"The ninjas with the stamina and the quantity of chakra that is needed to create a good number of bushins without getting tired, to use them as more than a diversion are very few. And the most of them used Elemental ones only, and they used them just nearby that elements." Then, he eyed his student directly. "Naruto, you're probably the greatest Bunshin master ever existed. You're the only one that I've ever known able to create such a great number of bunshin. And with Kage Bunshin, nonetheless. The most useful but at the same time the most tiring of all the Bunshin jutsus."

"Ahahah… Really?" Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly, blushing a little. Then, he heard some cheers from behind him.

"Come on! Where's my opponent? I want to finish this as soon as possible!"

Naruto turned around… And understood that the name of his opponent was fitting. He like Sakura the best, but that didn't mean that he couldn't recognize a beautiful girl when he saw one. The girl that had appeared was very tall. At least as tall as him. she had long blue hair, waist-length, and matching blue eyes. Her body was very tonic and athletic, but not bulky. Her C-cup demonstrated that. And from her pale skin, she was probably from the mist. A particular: she was wearing a black piece of clothing tied around her forehead, as a forehead protector. She was now smiling, in mischief, it seemed.

"… I'm here! Bring it on, girl!" Said Naruto, pumping his fist forward and then walking into his area of the field. The girl took a moment to examine him.

"Uhm… I have to retract. You're not ugly…" She said, after taking in his body, covered just by his orange broad-shorts. "But you're still going to lose!" She said, pointing her right index finger towards him.

"We'll see about that!"

"MISSION 1! START!" Everyone turned towards the suddenly appeared figure of prisoner, and everyone sweatdropped. "I'll be your… REFEREE! Please, create your team right now."

"Ehm… Yes." The girl began to gather chakra… And she placed her hands in a hand-sign that Naruto knew very well.

"!"

"! Kakashi-sensei… Don't tell me…" Sakura was the first one to voice her surprise. But everyone from the leaf was shocked.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" The girl, Kyoko, materialized five bunshins. Cheers from the crowd. She smirked. And all the bunshins and the original pointed their right index finger towards Naruto. "Come on! Show me your Bunshin technique!"

"…" Naruto shook his head, awakening from the shook. He did… Her same hand sign. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

"! EH?!" Exclaimed all the Kyokos in the field, witnessing their blonde opponent performing their same jutsu. Lot of 'wooow' and 'WHAT?' from the mist nins.

"Eheheh… Surprised, aren't you? And this is just the beginning!"

"MISSION 2! Please, be ready to…"

The girls awoke from the shock and placed themselves in a guard position. Naruto did the same. In the meanwhile, Neji took his time to use the Byakugan. But he was veeeeery careful, since he wouldn't want to have another night filled with dreams of impotence and feeling inferior. He checked the chakra reserve of the girl.

"What do you say, Neji?" Asked Shikamaru.

"Hmmm… This girl as a great amount of chakra." Kakashi nodded.

"Is that so… But our Naruto is still superior. His copies will last longer. If he plays well, he will win easily. He just has to not screw up." Kakashi turned a page of his book, chuckling.

"START! HEAVY MACHINE GUN!"

The ball was for Kyoko.

"Served!" She hit the ball, sending it flying towards Naruto.

"Hmph. Easy." The first Naruto easily blocked the ball, and he passed to a second one. He lifted it high in the air. "Attack!"

The third Naruto easily smashed one of the Kyokos, that immediately disappeared. Cheers from some, 'boooohs' from others. But Kyoko seemed unaffected.

_Hmmm… Pathetic. I've already figured out how to take care of him._

"Yes! One down! Four more to go!" Cheered Naruto. In the meanwhile, his companions were observing him.

"Hmmm… Kakashi-sensei, I have the sensation…" Started Shikamaru.

"Yes." Immediately commented Kakashi. Incredibly, he had put away his book. "I think he let one of her bunshins get destroyed on purpose. To evaluate Naruto's abilities… Cunning."

"SEEEEEEEEEEEERVICE to Uzumaki NAAAAAAAAAAAruto." Said Prisoner.

"Hop!"

Naruto served with a lot of strength… But one of the Kyokos bounced it back without effort. Then, she passed, with incredible speed.

"!"

"Attack!"

"Gah!" One of the Narutos disappeared. Kakashi just shook his head.

"That girl must be a good ninja. She already figured out Naruto."

"I have to warn you…" She started. Naruto turned her way. "I'm worthy of my name! I'm specialized in improvisation, during battles! I can turn anything into a weapon…" She threw the ball high in the air… And then she jumped after it.

"!"

"Even a volleyball!" She directed the smash towards one of the Narutos. Fortunately, it was the real one. He fell on his butt, hard, but the ball bounced back. The other Narutos repeated what they did before, but this time the girls managed to bounce back the attack.

"You're predictable!" Pass. Smash. Another Naruto down. Just three bunshins remaining.

"Damn it! How…" Cursed Naruto.

"Hmmm… A clever strategy." Commented Kakashi. "Shikamaru?"

"Yes. Among the Kyokos, is always the original to receive Naruto's attack, so that she will not lose a bunshin on that point." Shikamaru talked while the two continued to play. "And now that she understood which Naruto is the real one, she will always aim for the remaining Bunshins." And while he said this, Kyoko destroyed another Bunshin. "As I said… Naruto is in trouble."

"… Probably, but…" Every leaf nin turned towards Kakashi. "Don't forget that Naruto is 'Konoha's most unpredictable ninja' as well." He pointed towards Naruto. He had a serious face… Then, he suddenly smiled, and he sent a knowing glance towards his two remaining bunshins. "Don't forget that the girl has revealed who's the original as well. And Naruto is superior in another two things, to that girl…"

"Ok, guys! Get read!" Said the original Naruto.

"Yes!" Replied the copies.

"?" The Kyokos raised their eyebrows, while one of them served.

"Speed and physical strength." Finished Kakashi.

"Ah!" The bunshin Naruto got out of the way, and the real one took the ball, sending it high in the air. One of the bunshin jumped at the same height… Sending it even higher, where the third Bunshin was waiting.

"!" Kyoko's eyes widened.

"Take this! Uzumaki Naruto no Air Smash!"

The third Naruto hit the ball with so much power and so fast that after hitting one of the bunshins, it bounced away before it disappeared, destroying another one before losing his power.

"!" _Incredible…_

"Not to brag, but… I'm known as 'Konoha's most unpredictable ninja'! And I'm worth of my name as well!"

"SEEEEEEEEEEEEEERVICE to NAruTo!"

"…" Kyoko was starting to get nervous. I_Maybe I underestimated him? No, it's impossible… I just have to stay calm…/I_

"Ok! This is the last service of the game, Mitsuwa-san!" Naruto sent the ball towards the other side of the field… Very slowly.

"?" _What? It looks like he wants me to take it… _"… Don't take me lightly!"

Kyoko took the ball. Pass. Smash.

"Ok, guys! Ready?!"

The bunshins got out of the way, running in front of the web. The real Naruto bounced it back, placing it above the web, on the center of it. The two bunshins jumped. One clenched the right hand, the other one the left hand, in punches.

"! NARUTO! DON'T OVERDO IT!" Shouted Kakashi.

"Uzumaki Naruto no Double Hard Smash!"

The two bunshins punched the ball. It passed trough the two remaining bunshins of Kyoko… But it didn't stop there.

"!"

The ball had so much power that after the girl received it… It bounced on her face, knocking her unconscious.

"OPS!" Naruto cursed. Too strong…

"THE WINNER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS NARUTO Uzumaki. The victory will be added to your personal profile. Have a good day." Prisoner said this and then ran away.

"NARUTO NO BAKA! YOU COULD HAVE SERIOUSLY HURT HER!" Shouted Sakura. Neji, Shikamaru and Kakashi just sighed. There wasn't the need to go that far…

"S-SORRY!" Naruto dispelled his bunshins, and then proceeded to put the girl on his back, giving her a piggy-back. "I'LL CARRY HER TO THE INFIRMARY!" Then, he ran away.

"That baka…" Said Sakura.

"Baka two times." Commented Kakashi-sensei. "The infirmary is the other way."

"…"

In the meanwhile, Kabuto had been silent the entire game. But he decided to finally say something.

"… There's no worm in this tequila. Apart from that, I soooo have to tell this to Sasuke-kun."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, you're probably wondering why Sakura only was there. Particularly why Hinata wasn't at the Volleyball field to cheer for Naruto. Because they were experiencing a bit of problems with the Hyuuga heiress.

"NO! I'M NOT COMING OUT!" The voice of Hinata came from inside a changing room.

"Come on, Hinata! Don't be stupid!" Said TenTen, sighing.

"NOO! THERE'S NO WAY I'M COMING OUT IN THIS… THIS… THIS THING!"

"JESUS, HINATA! IT'S JUST A BIKINI!" Screamed Ino. She had an half idea of destroying the door and forcing Hinata to come out. Then, a voice…

"Need help, girls?"

"Uh?" TenTen and Ino turned around at the same time… And reacted in the same way. "… -O … OO … O.O … OoO… … … … … EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH?!?!?!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"… Ahhh! My head… Uh?" When Kyoko awoke, she found out that she was no more on the beach. She was in a shadowed place. And not only that. Judging from her hunger, it was around 2 PM. She looked around. They were in the island's jungle, it seemed. She saw… The blonde idiot who had knocked her unconscious drinking some water from the nearby-stream "… Hey!" She wanted to catch Naruto's attention, while getting back on her feet.

"Uh? Ah, you woke up!" Naruto finished drinking and ran to her. "Are you okay?! I'm sorry, I didn't want to hit you! Not that strong, at least… I've tried to find that damn infirmary for three hours, but in the end I ended up here…"

"Ah, yeah… I lost…" She lowered her head for one moment… The she raised it with an angry face. "DAMN IT! HOW IS IT POSSIBLE?! ME, THE BUNSHIN SPECIALIST! DEFEATED!" She turned towards him, and pointed her right index finger towards her. A signature move, probably… "YOU! WHAT'S YOUR RECORD IN BUNSHIN MAKING?!"

"Eh, me?" Naruto scratched his chin, in a thoughtful way. "Well… Two thousand…"

"… TWO THOUSAND?!?!?!?!?!?!" To say that Kyoko was shocked would be to make an understatement. The blonde boy had practically annihilated her record of two hundred. She slumped on her knees, her right eyebrow twitching, a freakish smile on her face. "Two… Thousand…"

"Hey?! Are you okay?! Damn, you're still weak…" Naruto, without waiting for her opinion lifted her and gave her piggyback. "Well, I suppose that it's best if I get you back to beach. You need to rest."

"Ehm… You have carried me around for three hours like this?" Asked Kyoko.

"Yes. I was trying to find the infirmary… But in end I got lost." Naruto began to walk one more time. Kyoko sighed and leaned her head against Naruto's back.

"Well… I suppose that I will take advantage of your kindness…" She said… And then she smiled. So warm…

"You're from the mist, right?" Asked Naruto. Better make some conversation. He had to distract himself from the things on his back.

"Yep." She replied, brushing her cheek a little against him.

"Well… Do you have… I don't know, a particular ability, a Kekkei Genkai?"

"Yes. My speciality is this medical jutsu. It's my family's heirloom, we could say. Just by touching someone, I can know everything about their bodies. Height, weight, diet, the drugs that they use… Everything." Suddenly, Naruto felt a source of chakra from her body to his one. "For example… I… … … OO …"

"Uh? Kyoko?" Naruto turned around. The girl had become completely red, and her eyes were as wide as saucers. She wasn't moving. "DAMN IT! THIS MUST BE BECAUSE OF THE HEAT! I NEED TO HURRY!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sai had witnessed many things in his life. But very few made him sweatdrop, because he wasn't really used to emotion. But one thing that made him sweatdrop hard was the sight of a running Naruto with something that highly resembled a tomato riding his back throwing himself in the sea while screaming 'MAKE WAY!'.

"Puaah! Mitsuwa-san! Are you okay?!" Naruto observed. It seems that the water had worked. Kyoko was no more completely red. She was just flushed.

"Y-Yes…" She managed to say.

"Pheew. Good, then…"

"NARUTO!"

"Uh?" Naruto turned his head. The voice that had called his name was Ino's one. She seemed excited.

"HURRY UP! COME HERE! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT'S UP!"

"Uh… Ok! One minute! Well… See ya around, Mitsuwa-san!" And so, Naruto was away. In the meanwhile, Kyoko was finishing to process her line of thoughts. You see, the detail that had shocked the mist girl was not Naruto's weight, nor his height… But his length.

… _12 inches of lenght+3 inches of diameter+endless stamina+Kage Bunshin… … …_

Suddenly, Kyoko's whole head became red, and steam shot out of her ears. Then… She got back on her feet, and still flushing, but with a determined smile and face, she pointed her right index finger towards the direction that Naruto ran off to.

"OK! IT'S DECIDED! UZUMAKI NARUTO, YOU WILL BE MY MAN!" She then screamed.

_Continue…_

_In the next chapter…_

After the big surprise of Ino and the other girls, Naruto experiences another day of surprises and shock, one more surprising than the other! Expect even more crack and madness from the next chapter of A.W.C.B.G.L.T.! Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… Otherwise I would make this fic a Manga!

Wow! 17 reviews for the first chapter?! Maybe I should drop all the other fics and write just crack… … … XD Just joking. Expect the first chapter of After Death A War for this week-end! Now, enjoy!

"_NARUTO!"_

"_Uh?"_

"_HURRY UP! COME HERE! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT'S UP!"_

"_Uh… Ok! One minute! Well… See ya around, Mitsuwa-san!"_

"_OK! IT'S DECIDED! UZUMAKI NARUTO, YOU WILL BE MY MAN!"_

**A.W.C.B.G.L.T.!**

**Chapter2: WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!**

Naruto had followed Ino for a good amount of meters. They stopped in front of the changing rooms. He saw Ino, Hinata and TenTen talking with another girl… That he didn't know, but that looked… Incredibly familiar to him. And when she turned around… He snorted.

"Come on, Sakura-chan. Drop my Sexy-no-jutsu…" Commented Naruto.

"I KNEW IT! GIVE ME 20 BUCKS, TENTEN!" TenTen snorted and handed Ino the amount of money. Naruto blinked. And the girl approached him, her hands crossed behind her back.

"Thanks for the compliment, but… Who's Sakura?"

"???" Naruto observed the girl in front of him. She was almost identical to his Sexy no Jutsu… Only that she had no whiskers, and she was more slender compared to his transformation, and a little taller. Her voice was slightly different as well, more childish. Now, Sakura had seen that technique enough times to not forget about it. She knew every detail of it. But for sure Sakura would have never forgot about the whiskers. So, that meant………… "OO … … … YOU'RE REAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Is that so unbelievable? I know that I'm cute, but you're exaggerating…" The girl giggled a little, while the Konoha girls sweatdropped. Naruto, in the meanwhile, kept on staring at her. The, she offered him her right hand. Naruto, after a couple of seconds, grabbed it, gently.

_DAMN! SHE GIVES THE SAME SENSATIONS TOO!_

"My name is Honaru Konoka." The girl shook Naruto's hand a little. And he noticed that the Konoha girls were snickering. What… "But friends call me Naruko." Naruto fell to the ground making an imprint of his body in the sand.

_What… The… Fuck…_

"Naruko, guess what? His name is Uzumaki Naruto!" Said Ino, grinning, while Naruto was slowly getting back on his feet.

"Uh? Really?! Incredible!" She pointed her right index finger at him, observing him like he was her long lost twin. In the meanwhile, Naruto was reeeeeeeeeeeally worried… Just 'the question' was left, now.

"… Naruko-san…" _If she says no, I sigh in relief. If she says yes, I run away screaming like a sissy._

"Yes?

"… Do you like ramen?"

"I LURVE RAMEN!"

_I run away screaming like a sissy. _"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And with that, Naruto was off. Naruko blinked a couple of times while staring at his disappearing form. In the meanwhile, Ino and TenTen were laughing veeeery loud, while Hinata just giggled. She didn't want to laugh that much at Naruto's expenses.

"Ahahah… So, Naruko-chan, what do you think about our blonde friend?" Asked Ino, wiping away the tears from her eyes.

"Well… He seems a nice guy. And he was cute as well." She replied, giggling a little. "I think that I will take my time to know him better…"

"Know him… Better?" **Inner Hinata: IDIOTS! YOU JUST CREATED ANOTHER OPPONENT ON THE PATH OF OUR CRUSADE OF LOVE!**

In the meanwhile, Sasuke was observing everything by under his beach umbrella, smirking.

"Hmph… What an idiot… Getting scared by such a simple thing… A girl…" He said, drinking a bit of his soda.

"It's always better that not observing the female side of the ninja population at all… Foolish little brother…"

Sasuke shot out all the soda in his mouth like a cannon, giving a poor random guy passing a good shower. He turned around… And there he was…

"UCHIHA ITACHI!"

"Foolish little brother… No need to shout my name…" Said Itachi. The missing nin was currently wearing a black and red pair of swimming trunks and a pair of Ray-Nin sunglasses. And he was embracing two hot ninja babes.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!?!?!"

"The Akatsuki managed to persuade that cheap bastard of Kakuzu to hand over the money for this vacation. So, here we are."

"YES! AND THIS IS THE DAY YOU DIE!"

"Foolish little brother… Don't you remember the rules of this vacation?"

"!"

"Fights aren't allowed, so…"

"…" _If he says that, I run away screaming like a sissy…_

"Even if I will be in your eyesight for a whole month, there's nothing you can do about it."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

And Sasuke was off. Itachi just shook his head.

"Foolish little brother… That's not screaming like a sissy. That's screaming like a little girl."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto woke up the following morning with an enormous head-ache. After destroying two pairs of scissors trying to cut away Lee's eyebrows, he and Neji had decided to go to sleep. But his sleep was disturbed. It was like… Something was going to happen. Something shocking, incredible… Something that would scare him. He got out of bed and decided that it would have been a good idea to have breakfast. He put on an orange t-shirt and a pair of blue broadshorts.

The breakfast was to be eaten in an enormous restaurant, with an enormous buffet inside. You could find anything. And the magic repeated itself at lunch and dinner, with different plates, of course. He decided to go just for milk, fried eggs and a couple of chocolate muffins. He sat down… And he noticed that he wasn't the only one that had decided to have breakfast that early in the morning.

A girl. With green hair, white skin, and green eyes. She was wearing a white t-shirt with the pattern of a blue and orange wave, and a pair of green shorts. She was petite, but really cute. She noticed his presence as well, and she waved a little to him, smiling. Naruto waved back. Then, he noticed that she had made his way to his table.

"Mind If I sit here? It's a bit lonely, here…"

"Not at all." Replied Naruto, then returned his attention to his eggs, with more manners than usual. It seemed that ramen was the only thing that made him lose control of his hands and mouth. "By the way, I'm Naruto."

"Saria. Nice to meet you." She said smiling. "You're from the leaf?"

"Yep. What about you?" Naruto had, incredibly, learned to swallow before saying anything.

"I'm from a small village. The Hidden Forest." She got a sip of her milk. "Not very known, but it's a beautiful place to live into."

"I'm sure it is." _Eh… Maybe this last phrase was a bit too corny…_

The girl giggled. She had finished her breakfast, it seemed. "Well, it's been a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Naruto-kun. I hope to see you around."

Naruto blushed a little. The suffix didn't bother him, usually… But that girl had something that made it charming… But before he could resume his breakfast, he received a glomp attack from behind. And he turned slightly to see the head of Mitsuwa Kyoko on his shoulder.

"Hi, Naruto!"

"M-Mitsuwa-san… Glad to see you're alright…"

"Awww! Cut the formalism! Just call me Kyoko or Kyoko-chan, if you want!"

"Ehm… Ok… Kyoko-chan…" Naruto was observing her with a raised eyebrow, and that meant…_ What the hell?_

"You know, Naru… I was wondering…"

"Hey, Naruto-san!"

Mitsuwa turned around ready to glare at, choke and kill whoever ruined that solo moment with her stalli… EHM love-interest… Another girl?! This one with blonde hair tied in pigtails. She sat beside him like nothing had happened.

"N-Naruko-san…"

"Yesterday you ran away so fast that I couldn't even ask your room's number! I… Uh?" Naruko noticed Kyoko on Naruto's back. "Hello, there!"

"… Hello…" Replied Kyoko, trying to make her voice as harsh as possible. Naruko didn't give her much thought.

"As I was saying, I would like to know you better! You're a fun person to be around, you know." Saying that, she smiled. Kyoko had to restrain her killing intent. Damn it. You can't get interested into such a piece of eye-candy that competition immediately shows up. But she had to play along, for the moment.

"You know? I was about to ask the saaaaaaaame thing…" She said, grinning deviously. _Well, I was going to ask him on a date, but… This will have to do for the moment._ "We could exchange informations and such, for a start…"

"Ok. I begin." Said Naruto. He drank a bit of milk and cleared his throat. "My name's Uzumaki Naruto. I like ramen, people who are nice to me and my friends, and… Well, I think that summarizes all of that. I dislike bastards with stick up their rear ends…" Sasuke sneezed very hard while taking a shower. "And the three minutes for the ramen to be ready. Dreams… Being Hokage, I suppose. Hobbies… Gardening."

"Ok! My turn!" Practically screamed Naruko. In the meanwhile, more and more people was coming down to have breakfast. "My name is Honaru Konoka, but friends call me Naruto! I like ramen as well, and interesting people! I dislike dark and mean people. My hobby is drawing!"

_DAMN! SHE HAS THINGS IN COMMON WITH HIM! Yellow level danger._ "My turn. Ah-ehm." Kyoko cleared her throat. "I'm Mitsuwa Kyoko. I like training, and meeting strong people. I dislike weak and ugly people." _I'll have to be careful to not say anything to his friends, by the way… He cares for them. _"My hobbies are improving my skills and reading novels."

"Well, you sure are interesting characters, the both of you!" Commented Naruko. Naruto smiled scratching the back of his head, and Kyoko smiled as well, but with a hint of superiority. "Ohhh! And look at that panda, overthere!"

Naruto and Kyoko sweatdropped. How could a panda be in a hotel… They turned nonetheless… But while Kyoko just saw a guy with two black circles around his eyes walking with a blonde girl with four pigtails and a brown haired guy, Naruto recognized the Kazekage!

"Gaara! Temari!"

"!" Kyoko's eyes widened. HE KNEW ANOTHER HOT GIRL! _AND THIS ONE REPRESENTES AN ORANGE LEVEL TREAT!_

"Ohhh… Naruto-san knows the panda?" Commented Naruko. Kyoko sweatdropped.

… _Ok, let's drop the level. Let's go back to green._

"Naruto… Good to see you." Replied Gaara.

"Hey, there." Temari waved a little, while the third individual just raised his right hand.

"It's great to see you guys, but where's Kankuro?"

"I'm right here."

"…" Naruto stared. "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE WITHOUT FACE PAINT!!! And…" Naruto observed that Gaara was missing his gourd. "How come you're not carrying around your gourd, Gaara?"

"… One, because fighting is not allowed. Two… We're on a beach, Naruto."

"Ah. Yes. Ahahah…" Naruto grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Uhm…" Temari was observing him. And she had to admit: with his hair down, and without wearing orange all over his body, the boy was good-looking. "Summer is an incredible thing. It even forced you to get out of that black and orange horror you call battle-suit."

"HEY!" Then, Temari placed a hand on his head and ruffled his hair.

"If you want to get undressed a little bit more, you know where to find me…"

"EH?!"

Kyoko was almost crushing a part of the table. _GRRRR! SHE'S SO FORWARD THAT A TRAIN WOULD LOSE AGAINST HER! _"Naruko! Let's go and meet Naruto's friends!"

"We get to meet the panda? Wow!" The two girls approached Naruto, and Kyoko grabbed his right shoulder.

"Naru, why don't you introduce us?" Asked the mist nin.

"Oh? Ah, right! Girls, these are Gaara, Temari and Kankuro. They're sibling. Guys, they are Kyoko and…"

"One of your Kage Bunshin henged into that technique." Commented Kankuro, shaking his head.

"Ehm… I'm not a Kage Bunshin. My name is Honaru Konoka, but friends call me Naruko."

"…"

"…"

"…"

The sand siblings blinked. Yes, Gaara too. And then they went 'Scream' mode. Yes, Gaara too.

"YOU'RE REAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"Uff… Naruto-san, persuade them…" Said Naruko, pouting a little. Kyoko and Naruto sweatdropped. Naruto a bit more, because it was rare to see Gaara displaying emotions.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the introductions, Naruto, Kyoko, Naruko and the sand siblings walked to the beach… And they noticed that there was a big crowd of people around a certain point of the beach. He spotted Kakashi along them.

"Kakashi-sensei, what's happening?"

"Ah, Naruto." Kakashi closed his book. "It's the first event. You see, this evening the 'Opening fire' will take place. A big party on the beach. But before that, there's this event. The organizers of all the events and the challenges of the month are arriving. Our… Animation, we could say."

"Cool! I wonder how they will look like!" And just as Naruto said that, a ship appeared. And it seems that music was coming from it.

_So if we all come together… We know what to do…_

_We all come together just to say we love you…_

"? What the…"

"The voice is familiar, hn?"

The comment came out of the mouth of no other than… Uchiha Sasuke.

"That's because you know them. Sigh…" _DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT! I WILL HAVE HIM AROUND FOR A WHOLE MONTH AT PRACTICALLY EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY!_

_And if we all come together, we know what to do…_

Five figures jumped out of the boat once it reached the shore, impacting a palm. They were all wearing black cloaks with red clouds on it.

"… IS THIS A JOKE?!"

"_We all come together just for you!"_

While the Akatsuki members continued their danced introduction (Go watch the flash from Hellpoemer on Deviantart), Naruto was charging a Raseshuriken and he was about to lunge at one of them when Kakashi grabbed the back of his broad-shorts. Naruto didn't struggle, otherwise the things would have fallen, and the whole beach would have discovered… THE SECRET!

"Naruto, stop. Remember the rules."

"B-BUT THEY'RE AKATSUKI!"

"They paid." Kakashi kept on reading his book.

"BUT THEY'RE ALL S-CLASS MISSING NINS!"

"They paid."

"B-BUT… THEY'RE WEARING BLACK WITH THIS HEAT!" _WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST SAY?!_

"They paid."

"…" Naruto calmed down. Then, he raised his right hand and right index finger. "Ok. Just one question, though."

"What?" Kakashi flipped a page of his book.

Naruto lowered his hand and forearm, pointing at something. "The one acting like the leader and the woman. How in the hell can they be completely covered by shadows when it's not even 9 AM? On a beach? In summer?"

"…" Kakashi glanced in the direction pointed by Naruto. He sweatdropped. He was right. The two figures were shadowed. And the leader suddenly pulled out a mic from his right sleeve.

"Thank you, thank you. Maybe some of you already know us." Some boos and death treats from the crowd. "That's what I was thinking. Now, we'll be your events and challenges organizers for the whole month. Be reminded that often we will ask some of you to be judges in particular events, like the cooking contest."

"CHOJI! DON'T DROOL! YOU'LL MAKE THE SEA AN ENORMOUS SPIT!"

"One more thing before we go. If you see an enormous suspicious looking plant somewhere in the hotel… Run." And with that, the music ended and the Akatsuki was off.

"… Ok. That was weird." This was Kyoko's comment. She had always thought Hoshigaki Kisame to be some kind of homicidal freak… BUT HE LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT!

"Sigh… A whole month… And… HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!" Suddenly, Sasuke's eyes widened. He had just realized something. _I can't kill him because I can't fight him, but… What if an accident happened to the pooooooooor Itachi… Like a hairdryer falling in his bath-tube… WHILE HE IS HAVING A BATH! _"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"… Kakashi-sensei…" Said Naruto, observing Sasuke's behaviour.

"Yes?"

"… I almost got killed trying to bring back… This guy?"

"… Yes."

"…"

"Aw, come on, Naru! Don't think about such things! Let's go and play a little!" Said Kyoko, grabbing his arm one more time.

"Yeeeah! Race to the water!" And with that, Naruko was off. Naruto shook his head smirking, then he ran after her.

"Ah! Don't think you can outrun me!" Kyoko stood there a little disappointed. That wasn't what she meant for 'playing'…

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While Naruto played water-volley with Kyoko and Naruko, the leaf girls plus Temari were sunbathing, relaxing… Well, not all of them were relaxing. Hinata was in a sitting position, and she was staring at Naruto. Sakura was on his stomach, apparently enjoying the warmth of the sun, but she often glanced in his direction. And the glance turned into a glare for one second, precisely the second when Naruko practically fell on Naruto because she was trying to get a hold of the ball… The plastic one.

"Hinata, what's wrong?" Suddenly asked TenTen, noticing her staring.

"N-Nothing… I'm just…" **Inner Hinata: YOU ASK AS WELL?! ARE YOU DEAF/DUMB?! I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY NARUTO-KUN !**

"Come on, weapon-girl, it's so obvious…" Temari got into a sitting position as well. "She's worried about Naruto… Or better… About him and those two girls."

"And don't think I didn't notice your set of glares, Sakura…" This time was Ino the one who made a comment, smirking at her pink-haired friend.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, flatly and quickly.

"Good reflexes. But I know what I'm talking about…" Ino turned in Naruto's direction, observing him behind her sun-glasses. "After all, in these last years Naruto has turned into a wonderful piece of eye-candy. Only that… He's always hidden by that hideous black-orange symbiotic thing that he calls a jumpsuit."

"I have to agree with you, Ino." Commented TenTen, glancing in the blonde's direction. "Tall, muscular… And with the summer, his features seem even enhanced."

"And I've already admitted that he's cute long ago, right?" Temari, this time. "Too bad that he's so immature…"

"Ahh, don't be like that, Temari-san… Maybe he compensates for that with something else…" This comment from Ino made Hinata alarmed.

**Inner Hinata: HOLY SHIT! THIS IS BAD! THEY KNOW!**

"… Ahahahahahah!" Suddenly, all the girls minus Hinata began to laugh. "As if!"

Hinata sighed in relief. They were just making hypothesis… Good that she was the only one who knew that the hypothesis was a reality. Otherwise… IT WOULD BE HELL FOR HER LOVE-DREAMS. Suddenly, a voice began to resonate around the beach.

"_Ok, guys! It's your buddy Kisame, here! I warn you that in fifteen minutes __it will begin… What? I'm talking about the Glass-sculptures contest! Let's meet under the palms on the shore of the beach! Peace!"_

"… I still can't understand how in the hell can a S-class missing nin be such an idiot…" Commented Kyoko.

"Glass-sculptures? Never heard of such a thing on a beach… It seems interesting, though. Wanna go and see, girls?" Suggested the blonde shinobi.

"Why not?! Let's go, Naruto-san!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A large crowd had gathered in front of the palms, witnessing the presence of the two judges: Itachi and Deidara.

"Ok! Now we'll explain the rules! Yeah…" Said Kisame.

"You will take part into this contest in couples of people." Said Itachi. "And I'll explain why. Glass sculptures means…"

"One. You have to make a nice figure with the sand. Yeah…" Deidara pointed to the ground, to a figure that looked like a shark. Then, Itachi began to make handseals.

"Two. You have to turn the sand to glass with a Katon ninjutsu. Katon! Goukakkyu no Jutsu!"

Itachi used the Uchiha clan Katon signature technique, and in a swift seconds the messy shark was turned to glass. A lot of people applauded.

"We will be the judges. We will consider the shape of the figure, the excess of glass as in sand turned to glass that isn't the one used for the figure, and of course you'll gain many bonus points if you manage to create a sculpture that rises from the ground. You're in pairs because, of course, not all the ninjas know Katon, and not everyone is an artist. You have 45 minutes to find a partner and finish. It starts…" Began Itachi.

"Now." Finished Deidara.

Naruto, as a first reaction, shook his head.

"I'm soooo not going to enter the contest…" He said, smirking.

"Why, Naru?"

"One. I don't know any Katon jutsu. Two. I already know who will win."

"But I need a Katon user." Naruto turned around. There it was. Gaara. "And I doubt that Sasuke will agree."

"Ah! The panda! I know Katon, mister panda!" Everyone sweatdropped, at Naruko's comment.

"Ehm… Ok. Come with me."

"…" _I'M SOOOOO NOT GOING TO LET THAT CLONE GET MORE POINTS IN NARUTO'S SIGHT!_ "Ehm… I think I'll enter the competition, Naru! Cheer up for me!" Commented Kyoko.

"Eh… Okay." _But they don't stand a chance against Gaara…_

"KABUTO! ROLL YOURSELF IN THE SAND!"

"?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naruto was observing while Deidara and Itachi observed the sculptures. Soon would have been the turn of Sasuke.

"Not participating, Naruto?"

"Uh? Ah! Saria-chan…"

Naruto didn't even hear her approaching him. So silent… Maybe it was due to her petite forms. But she had her curves. Not very developed in the bust area, just a B-cup, but she had a nice figure. And veeeeery nice legs.

"Not an artist?" She asked.

"And not a Katon user. I'm a Fuuton type. And you?"

"Boring. And… I'm a earth/water type." She replied, smiling.

"Eh… I guess it's to be expected. You're from the hidden forest, after all…" He said smirking. The girl smirked back, and she punched him slightly on top of his head.

"What are you saying? That we look all the same to you?" She said, feigning irritation. Naruto grinned.

"I wouldn't know. After all, you're the first forest-nin I've ever met…"

"Eheheh… You're right. Oh, look. They're about to examine people you know."

"Uh? Oh, right."

Itachi and Deidara had arrived in front of Kyoko's team sculpture. It was beautiful gothic castle.

"Uhmmm… Good. Very good…" Said Itachi.

"And with the flame you managed to burn the sticks used to keep it together before it turned to glass…" Continued Deidara. "Too bad that the remnants are still there…"

"Eheheh… Maybe… Bats? After all, it looks a little like Dracula's castle…" Tried to say Kyoko, but Itachi and Deidara were already moving to the next sculpture… Sasuke's one… Kabuto trapped in a crystal body, all burned and full of smoke.

"… Foolish little brother…" Said Itachi, shaking his head. Sasuke glared at him.

"Good idea, though. The pain and the anguish are evident in the sculpture…"

_Hell! He has been enveloped into boiling glass… _Thought Naruto, sweatdropping. Itachi and Deidara reached the last competitors… Gaara and Naruko.

"Oh…"

"Very good indeed."

The sculpture was an enormous portrait of Gaara and Naruto fighting each other. The fighters were bleeding, their clothes ripped, and they were staring at each other panting. But… The sculpture was still made of sand.

"How come you still haven't turned it into glass?"

"Because we wanted to show you!"

"?"

"?"

Deidara and Itachi raised their heads. Naruko had jumped high in the air, and she was holding her hands in the tiger hand-seals.

"Katon! Karyuu-endan!"

"!"

"!"

"!"

Everyone's eyes widened at that… The girl knew and had enough chakra to use the most powerful of the Katon techniques? In a few seconds, the portrait became of glass. A lot of people clapped, while Deidara and Itachi nodded.

"First prize." They said together.

_DAMN IT! THAT BITCH WON!_ Kyoko's thoughts.

Gaara walked and Naruko skipped towards Naruto.

"See, Naruto-san?! I won!"

"Eheheh… Good work, Naruko-chan." He said, patting her head like she was an older sister.

"OMG! THEN SHE'S REAL?"

"?" Naruto turned around… And he stared. Stared. Stared. Stared. And stared… At Zabuza and Haku?! "OMFG! ZOOOOOOMBIES!"

"Hello, Naruto." Said Haku.

"Yes, we're supposed to be dead… You see, it's a fun story involving some pepsi and a bunch of pink rhinos…"

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?!"

"AND DON'T BE LATE, THIS EVENING! WE'RE GONNA DANCE!"

_Continue…_

_In the next chapter…_

The Konoha boys start hating the Nara clan. The girls all over Naruto. And a dark evil approaches… THE 'YOU MUST WEAR THIS PARTICULAR PIECE OF SWIMMING WEAR' DAY! STAY TUNED!


	3. I started a rewrite

Just to warn everyone, I've starter a rewrite of this story

Just to warn everyone, I've starter a rewrite of this story. I hope you'll like it. The url is in my Profile, of course, and the name is 'Get low Naruto! RW!'.

Meinos Kaen


End file.
